Mr. Holmes #10

Dear Mr. Holmes,

What happened to my summer romance? I met a man while vacationing in Palm Springs, and we fell in love. It was such a whirlwind, but it felt so right, we were so happy, and I thought it would last for more than two weeks.

Now he hasn't called me. What went wrong? I thought I did all the right things.

Sincerely, Burned in the Desert

Dear Burned,

In Spring, a young man's fancy turns to love, and in Summer, well - some romances are not meant to last longer than a tan from your visit to pier at Brighton.

Sometimes our hopes are so high that we skip a few steps when we meet someone. Like negotiating what we want in our relationships. Like having realistic expectations about our new partners, and about ourselves. Like being completely authentic - were we really able to share our true selves with this man in such a short time? Or perhaps, just perhaps, we were busy trying to be the chap who we thought he'd like - and that's who he was attracted to in that short time.

We shouldn't turn down any love that comes our way, or hold back from sharing our love, but perhaps we should accept the experience for what it was - a nice, short, lovely, coming together of two men in this big world. You're not a bad person because this didn't work out, and neither, most probably, is he.

When Watson & I first met (and I don't think he'll mind me sharing this with you), we had a fling while we were both spending Boxing Day at Balmoral with a prince whose name I dare not speak. Oh, I could've boxed my own ears afterwards for not calling him upon returning to London. But we ran into each again at Ascot and realized that there was the basis for a solid relationship.

It was then, months later, that we began to build a lasting relationship - one where we could enjoy each other's company, talk about what we each needed from the other, and break through the image that we had each tried to create in order to impress the other.

We understood that we had to start over - perhaps we both had unrealistic expectations about that idyllic weekend, and needed to negotiate with each other about our needs going forward.

Don't lose heart, my friend, Autumn approaches and who knows what may fall in your lap.

God save the Queen(s)!
Sherlock Holmes, Esq.

Do you have questions for Mr. Holmes about dating? intimacy? relationships? Just send him an e-mail at Mr.Holmes@GayRelate.com. All e-mail addresses and names will remain confidential - Mr. Holmes is quite discreet. He'll do his best to uncover the answer to your questions.